ORDERS FOR NAM
I finally got my orders to go to Viet Nam. My friend, who lived in the
Bay Area, also got his orders at the same time. We left in his car for
California and eventually Nam. We each took 30 day's leave to get ourselves
mentally ready for the experience we were to face.
While home on leave, I found out that an old high school
classmate, Mike Harrison had orders for the same place as I did. He had the same
reporting time at the Oakland Army Depot, as well. He was getting married to
another classmate, Donna Dixon. I was invited to the wedding at Donna's house. I
got to see a bunch of old friends at the wedding. It was a sad time as Mike was
shipping out after only a couple of weeks of marriage.
My sister Melody took me out for dinner. I could tell that
she and her husband were concerned. They also did not understand the war and why
I had volunteered to go. My family did not seem too worried and for some reason
neither was I.
My mother did not really address the issue of any concerns
she might have had about me going off to war. It just seemed that I was just
leaving for a trip someplace and not going off to war. I was looking forward to
leaving and getting on with my new assignment in Vietnam.
I tried to visit some old friends from high school but none
of the conversations went very well. They for the most part, were hung up on
worries about term papers and tests. My life was not a number one concern to
them. There was a part of me that wanted to yell out to my family and friends. I
wanted their love and wanted someone to worry about me. I was so lonely while on
leave, that I cried one night when I was alone. Carol was not really talking to
me back then. She told me that she would not write me, but that she would keep
informed of my activities if I wrote her mother. This was not the way I had
envisioned going off to war in my dreams. I had always wanted to get that hero's
send off with family and girl friends crying for me when I left. But for me, the
only one that felt any sadness - was me.
I spent some time wandering around San Francisco and wrote
poetry to soothe my soul that was hurting. I knew my life was going to be much
different when I got back from the war. I was not sure in what ways it would be
affected. I prayed for guidance and put on a brave calm face for the outside
world. Inside however, I felt so alone and isolated from everyone else .
Donna along with my old friend Karen Lawn drove Mike and I to
Oakland and said good bye to us. It was hard for them to leave us. I saw their
eyes and knew that they had a lot of worries and concerns for both of us. It was
very early in the morning and the sun was not even up yet. I could see Donna's
wet eyes shinning in the street lights where we got out of the car. Karen and
Donna hugged me and I wanted to cry too, but I didn't. We marched off inside the
gate at the Oakland Army Base. We turned and watched as they drove off into the
darkness of the early morning. We now knew that we were forever different. We
would never return the same from our adventure overseas. We looked at each other
and said nothing, but I understood what he didn't say, as much as he knew my
thoughts. We stayed there for three days and then got on a bus for Travis AFB.
We were loaded onto a commercial plane for the trip. Mike and I, thought this was
going to be the great adventure. We never gave a thought about either of us
getting killed. I knew I wouldn't and I guess he assumed the same for himself.
