remembrance accompanied
by an angel statue that stands at the base of Dutch's Memorial Bench. I sat
there for awhile as I do a couple times a month. I shared some fond memories
with him, I told him that we missed him dearly and that we were fortunate and
blessed to have met him and share in his life. I asked him to please watch over
us and to give us the strength we (personally) need at present time and before I
left the clouds cleared, and a rainbow shone across the Veterans' Park...Which
was odd because it wasn't rainy just big beautiful white clouds that were
covering the sun had now parted ways. As usual I came away from my visit with
Dutch feeling like a sense of burdens had been lifted and that nothing we were
facing is too tough or challenging, but then Dutch always made me feel that way.
He was such a strong support to me during my 16 surgeries in 2 years and always
there for Doug, they were inseparable.
And towards the end of Dutch's fight for life, he called me allot and asked
if he could just come over and sit with me and hang out, said he needed not to
be alone right now. And we spent many days just sitting watching movies and
holding each other, crying and laughing. After his passing October 25,2000 Doug
was so sad and beside himself. He was so very close to Dutch and we both loved
him dearly. Only days later Doug had heart failure in our family room. When he
was in the ER the attending doctor who is a friend of mine took me aside and
suggested that if there was any family that needed to be contacted now was the
time. He also asked me who was Dutch? I explained that he was a dear friend who
recently passed and that my husband was grieving/actually hadn't come to terms
with his passing yet, but grieving nonetheless. He (MD) then proceeded to show
me that Doug was raising his hand up towards the head end of the hospital bed
holding Dutch's hand and talking with him. Doug told Dutch "I am coming
man", and said he would be right there, "take my hand and hang on
Dutch, don't let go. " Needless to say this was very disturbing as I too
had just lost this wonderful friend and now my husband was talking to him and
saying he was going to be with Dutch now. I told the doctor friend of mine that
they needed to go ahead and make arrangements to transport Doug by ambulance to
the cardiac facility not airlift him to Miami (although in and out of being
lucid, Doug did tell the doctor that hell yeah he'd prefer the chopper ride and
then again told Dutch he'd be right there that he had to go on a chopper ride
first. I went to the head of the bed and grabbed Doug's hand that he was holding
onto Dutch's hand, I bent over him and whispered to him that Dutch is here but
he is only here to help you through this, he wants to hold your hand to help you
not take you with him just yet. Things worsened and they transported Doug and I
went home to call immediate family. Doug coded in the ambulance again as they
were backing into the bay at the other hospital and the paramedics later told me
he was talking to Dutch just before he coded. One more time we went through this
during his two week hospital stay but this time Doug heard Dutch ...he now knew
that Dutch was there for him to be with him and to comfort him, not to take him
away.
After that I have talked to Dutch daily and spend time changing out the
flowers and leaving cards and letters and mementoes of his military service and
of our friendship...I guess long story short (whew,huh?) is Happy Birthday my
dear sweet friend Dutch. Thanks for still being here for Doug everyday - the way
that you have always been and always will ....
In that special place that only you could fill in our hearts. We love you and
miss you more then you could ever imagine and cherish the time we had immensely.
Sallute my friend, We'll talk again real soon, because I know you are merely a
breath away.
Love ya, Leilah Ward
