PLEASE FORGIVE ME

for not remembering your name

i know it is here somewhere on the West Wall

probably around panel 20

i remember your face, your smile

as you showed me the picture of your wife and new baby

i remember how they teased the new papasan

as you danced around that desolate firebase laughing

i remember walking into ICU

as they unwrapped the gory stump that was your leg

and i remember my sorrow when the nurse whispered,

"expectant - he was already in a body bag

when the medic noticed slight breathing"

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

for not staying

i wanted to hold your hand and tell you

to hang in there for your wife and new baby

but the nurses and doctors surrounded you

trying to keep you alive

and i would have only been in the way

so i told the nurse i would check on you later

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

for not returning

i just did not want to know

that another wife would receive that knock on the door

confirming her worst fears

i couldn't bear to know that another child

would grow up having never known his Father

for i had an early take off the next morning

to fly to another desolate firebase

to laugh and dance with other soldiers

before they too were killed

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

emily strange

©1989