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The Red Swinging Doors
Copyright - Ron Heller 1999
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Not long after I took over First Admin Company, my First
Sergeant Carl Cook, said we should go to Saigon to inspect the AG postal
unit we had there. It was about a 45 minute drive as best I can remember
into Saigon from DiAn. It was a drive into another world. Saigon was just
like you see in the movies, teeming with little blue Renault taxis,
bicycles, motorcycles and pedicabs. All of this was complicated by a huge
amount of military traffic. It was a frightening experience for a combat
infantryman new to the big city.
- Soon after pulling into Saigon, we were stopped by a military policeman.
After seeing the combat unit markings on our jeep, he disdainfully informed
us that we shouldn't be carrying weapons in Saigon. He acted like we were
two hobos trying to crash a society party. I informed him that there was a
war going on and that we were on an official mission. (I guess it was
official, I approved it). I don't know if it was that we had him out-gunned
or out- ranked but he saluted and left.
- Top took me to Ton Sonute Air Base where we went to the Vietnamese Air
Force (VNAF) Officer's Club. When we entered the foyer there was a
restaurant to one side and what appeared to be a bar with red swinging
doors. Top told me to go in the bar and he would join me in a minute. I
pushed open the door and started a fifteen second series of events that
ended with me in a chair with a young woman on my lap, a hand unbuttoning my
fly and a breast in my mouth. I didn't know what hit me.
- As I started to enter small, soft hands grabbed my hands and arms and
started dragging me into the room. My eyes were still adjusted to outdoors,
so I couldn't see anything. I stumbled through the room and was thrown, like
"crack the whip" into a booth. I didn't know what hit me. I
confess that I didn't fight too hard because even though I was blinded, the
giggling feminine voices and the smell of perfume made me think that maybe
this might be fun. In a flash I was in the predicament mentioned above.
- I was a veteran of the bars of North Beach in San Francisco, Colon,
Panama, Acapulco, and I thought I could handle the "B" Girl
routine. For once I was outclassed. When she said "You buy me one tea,
G.I., I could only muster a muffled "mummph" Not two seconds later
two drinks hit the table, a tea for her and a beer for me, accompanied by a
ridiculously high bill. I bowed to the inevitable.
- Saigon Tea is the term the GI's used to refer to what the bar girls drank
when they encouraged a lonely soldier to buy them a drink. Some of the more
naive soldiers would become angry when they found out that the booze was
really tea and that their attempts to get the girls drunk and seduce them
were for naught. They were getting screwed but only metaphorically. I don't
remember what it cost but it wasn't cheap. The girls would allow various
degrees of groping depending on how much tea you bought. It didn't take many
smarts to figure out that the First Sergeant had set me up. When I left the
bar, Top and I had a steak dinner in the restaurant. Another rough day in
the Nam.
- I had a few other adventures behind the red doors in the next year or so.
I would always try to take new officers there to get indoctrinated into
local customs. It was difficult to do this on a regular basis but I managed
a few trips.
- Once I passed through on the way to Sydney on R & R. The rule at the
bar was that If you sat at the bar itself you wouldn't be bothered, but if
you went to a booth you were fair game. Being forewarned, I managed to avoid
the reception team and went to the bar. I planned to have a few quiet beers
and to watch the show. I was surprised when a girl came up to me and invited
me to sit down with her.
- I told her that I was there to drink only and that I wasn't interested in
her company. She swore up and down that she wouldn't ask me to buy any tea
and that she was only interested in the pleasure of my company. Things must
have been slow for her to waste time with me. I finally gave in because I
knew she was only earning a living.
- I planned to visit with her for a few minutes and then buy her a tea just
to be a nice guy. We sat down and she hopped on my lap and said, "You
buy me one tea, G.I."? I was furious. I felt that she had not kept her
end of the deal and that I had been conned. I jumped up, dumping her
unceremoniously onto the floor. She got up fighting. She took off her shoe
and began beating me with it screaming, "You numbah Ten Cheap
Charlie," the ultimate insult.
- Another time I took Tim, my FO. Tim had led a sheltered life and I thought
that the experience would be broadening and character building. I told Tim
to stick his arm into the room. He did and the usual happened. I went to the
restaurant to have a good meal and about a hour later I went to rescue him.
Tim didn't want to be rescued. I found him in a booth with two girls and a
shit eating grin on his face. He had spent all his money and pleaded with me
to loan him what I had on me. He even offered to sell me his watch. It took
a direct order, but I finally saved Tim from himself.
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