Life Experiences of Bill McDonald
From the Book
"A Spiritual Warrior's Journey"
Healing Hands
During a very intensive period of combat in
Vietnam, in an operation code named “Operation Junction City,” I discovered
something I never expected to find. Let me begin with some background leading up
to this moment.
My commanding officer (CO) brought me into his office one afternoon
and strongly suggested that I take some time off, R AND R (Rest and Relaxation),
in country for a few days. He knew that I had been interested in going back to
the north coastal city of Nha Trang. My CO also knew that I had been through
hell the previous three weeks. I had been shot down three times, been awarded
the Distinguished Flying Cross, been nominated for a Silver Star, received a
handful of Air medals, and presented with a Purple Heart for a very minor hand
wound. In that same time period, I had almost been captured. My physical and
emotional health was noticeably at a weak point. I was totally exhausted. I just
had no more energy left to give.
To the credit of my CO, he recognized that it was time for me to
take some time off and recharge myself once again. I did not fight the idea too
hard. I had actually looked forward to flying up there and spending some lazy
days on the beaches and swimming in the South China Sea. So early the next
morning, I got on a helicopter heading north to the air base in Nha Trang. I
took very little with me, choosing to travel light. I did not bring a weapon nor
did I even give it any consideration.
I got a ride to the downtown area with a young Vietnamese man on his
pedicab. He pedaled as fast as he could and took me to a nice but small hotel.
It had no more than a half dozen rooms for rent. However, it was very clean and
had a peaceful feel to the place. I wanted to keep away from the Army and spend
some quality time living in the city itself with the people. That meant I was
staying at a hotel that was at least three or four miles away from the closest
military base. I was also the only American in several miles in either
direction, and I must believe that I was the only GI dumb enough to stay
overnight in the city without any kind of weapon with him.
This city was fairly safe, but it had
VC living there, and the VC occasionally attacked the nearby bases. This was by
no means a protected compound, and there was no security to stop anyone from
capturing or killing me. It is funny, but those thoughts and questions come to
me only now as I write this—at the time I felt invincible. Youth can do that to
you.
The view from the window in my room
afforded me a great look at the very large Buddha up on the hillside at the edge
of the city. I had seen it from the air when we had flown in that afternoon. It
was huge. We had actually flown circles around it in our helicopter. We could
see that it was also a temple. People were going under it into a large
chapel-like area. The statue sat on top of the temple and served as the roof.
Looking in the other direction from my room, I could see the most
wonderful rolling surf washing onto some of the world’s finest beaches. As far
as I could see the white beaches spread across the shoreline, melting into the
soft blue waters of the South China Sea. It struck me how this beauty was so
much in contrast to the war torn part of the country where I had been living and
fighting. What a welcome relief it was to be here in this great room with its
soul-refreshing view; I was very pleased with my choice. This was all very
impressive stuff to my young self, and it sure as heck beat being back in the
world I had just come from.
One of my concerns was getting some much needed rest and sleep while
I was there. I really was very tired, but I was having a lot of trouble resting
or falling asleep. And even though I had wanted to go out and explore the city,
my energy was so low that I could barely walk. I felt like I needed to sleep for
an entire year, but I just couldn’t get the old body and mind to shut down and
rest. My mind was still fighting all those battles of the war that I thought I
had left behind.
When I had checked into the hotel, I told the manager not to
bother me with anything and not to send me any “girls” since I was not
interested in having a prostitute in my room. All I really wanted to do, and was
very much looking forward to doing, was sleep.
I lay there on the bed, half awake and thinking about home, when I
heard a soft, muted knock on my hotel door. I got up and opened the door. There
before me stood this very beautiful, part Asian and French, young woman. She
looked to be perhaps in her twenties, but she had an ageless look to her and
could have been any age I imagined her to be. I noticed that she was somehow
very different, not normal. Her skin was a brilliant white as if she almost
glowed. Light hung around her like a veil. It radiated from within her, not from
the outside sunlight.
She stood there, not saying a word to me, and looked demurely at me
with her eyes slightly cast downward. I told her that I was not interested in
whatever she was offering. I did not want to pay for anything nor did I want any
of her services. I told her to go away. I closed the door and walked back to my
bed, leaving her standing in the hallway. I fell onto the bed face down with my
head deeply buried in the pillow. I tried to relax and, perhaps, to sleep.
Suddenly, I felt the gentle pressure of two, soft feminine hands
gently rubbing my back. I did not look up. I lay there, transfixed on the
feeling of peace coming from within me. I did not move nor did I say anything to
her. I just lay there while she rubbed all that tension, anger, and depression
out of my body with her hands.
My mind and body completely relaxed. I was half drifting between
being fully awake and in some kind of altered state. I just felt so loved but
not at all in any sexual way. It was more like a spiritual uplifting; it was
that same kind of feeling that I got when I used to fast for long periods of
time— a light-headed, other-worldly floating, almost out-of-body experience.
Yet, I was fully there. And so was she.
Then it occurred to me that I had
left her standing outside in the hallway. How had she gotten inside my room? I
rolled over to look at her eyes, but the light coming in through the windows
blurred my vision, so I could not fully see what her eyes looked like. I did see
her soft, motherly smile as she rolled me back over to continue rubbing my back.
All my pains and tension were gone. I felt alive and well once
again. I was really feeling so good about this women being there, that I rolled
over once again. I wanted to see this woman who was giving me all this healing
energy. Now, my mind and body were stimulated by some natural desires of my own,
and I had decided that I wanted to spend some time with this women. I wanted to
take her around the city and to the beaches. When I turned over this time, there
was no woman there. The room was quite empty except for me.
I quickly looked all around the room with my eyes, checking all the
possible hidden recesses of the room. The fact was that she was not there. The
door was still closed as it had been when I had closed it earlier. I was all
alone in this room. I jumped off the bed and raced out of the room into the
hotel hallway. I looked both directions, then I ran downstairs to the street.
She was not to be found anywhere. When I asked the people outside the hotel
which way she went, they told me that no one had been out of that door for
hours. They also said that no one had come into the hotel either.
I went back to the manager and demanded to know who she had sent to
my room. The manager looked at me as if I were crazy. She said that no one was
sent to my room. She stated that she had been watching the hotel all day long,
and that if anyone had come or gone, she would have seen her. She asked if I
had been on drugs or had been drinking. She did not understand what I was taking
about.
Well, I was not drinking nor had I done any drugs. All I knew was
that I had seen her and that she had touched me, and not just in a physical way.
I wandered back to my empty room. However, I felt so much love and
peace within me that I did not worry about understanding what had happened in
that room moments before. All I knew was that I felt a surge of joy and peace
within myself. I was then fully able to relax and sleep, forgetting about the
battles of war. I went to sleep almost as soon as my head touched the pillow,
and I was able to sleep like a baby. I have never slept that good in my whole
life before or since.
When I woke up, I felt connected to the world once again. I was
relaxed and at peace with myself. I went out to the beach and walked along the
wet sand in the twilight. The warm waters touched my bare feet as I looked up at
the stars in the early night skies. I felt extremely close to the divine that
night. I could feel God’s love filling me. I did not understand who that woman
was then, nor do I today.
Who she was? What was she doing
there? Who had sent her? How did she disappear without a trace? The answers I
have not, but I do know that it was not a dream. Something very special happened
to me that afternoon. It was also something that I could never fully explain to
anyone else. I didn't think that anyone would ever understand since I do not
even know myself who she was. Until recently, I have only revealed this long
held secret to a few friends.
Believe what you want—I will never know for sure who this woman was or
why she came to me—but I know that I was “touched by my special angel.” Even if
no one ever believes this story, I know I will cherish that memory forever.
I spent several days in Nha Trang before returning back to the heat
of combat and the war. But I was forever changed by that “touch.”
#
Copyright 2003 W. H.
McDonald Jr.
Return To
Story Menu
